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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Holidays: Modeling Gratitude for Your Children

Q. With the holiday season upon us, I've got some worries about my kids. Each year, they seem to be less and less grateful for what they receive, and want more and more stuff. I'm afraid of what this will lead to, and wonder what you would suggest for how to teach our kids to be grateful.

A. I am asked this question often at this time of year.

Part of the problem is that we live in a culture that not only doesn't support the concept of gratitude, it teaches the exact opposite.

In order to teach gratitude and appreciation, here are three suggestions:

Model gratitude in your own life

Do you complain a lot? Your kids are listening and will copy you.

Make things last. Don't just throw something out if it can be fixed.

Talk with your kids about' what you are grateful for in life. Tell your kids, often, what you appreciate about them.

Go slow on the big things

When we rent Chuck E. Cheese for a 3-year-old's birthday party, send kids to middle school dances in limos, and buy 16-year-olds brand-new cars, just what are we teaching them? What are they going to expect, (demand) next year?

We forget to ask the same question the scientists in the movie "Jurassic Park" forgot to ask: Just because we can do something, does it necessarily mean we should?

Have regular "gratitude times in your family

Make it a regular part of your dinner conversation to share what your are grateful for that day.

Make it a part of the bedtime ritual to share what you are grateful for in your life.